When I was a little girl I had a pink and turquoise plastic jewelry box. It had little heart clasps that opened the box to reveal a small mirror and a tangle of sparkly jewelry. This jewelry box housed my treasured stick-on-earrings, one set for each day of the week, my frilly and lacy hair bows, my assortment of Barbie figurines from McDonald's Happy Meals, and rocks collected from the playground. Every time I opened the jewelry box I would carefully sift through all the items, taking satisfaction in each prized possession. Sometimes I would examine the playground pebbles like I was performing my own important science experiment, hoping to find evidence for the existence of dinosaurs or a fossil of an undiscovered species. Other times I would trace my finger along the waves of the ribbons on my hair bows and put them all in my hair at once. I would pretend I was a fussy princess and try on different combinations of bracelets, necklaces, and plastic jewel rings and strut around my room giving orders to my dazed stuffed animals. Then, when it was time to play something else, I would take off my jewelry, collect the pebbles, unclasp the bows from my hair and put everything back into the jewelry box. The heart clasps would snap shut and my treasures inside would be secured safely.
Fifteen years have passed since I have thought of my pink and turquoise jewelry box. I am amazed at the vivid recollection of the assortment of treasures I had in the box. I never really thought much about it until I saw my pink and turquoise jewelry box sitting on a shelf in the jumble of toys at Goodwill. When I recognized the jewelry box on the shelf, my heart skipped and leaped. I remembered the feeling of giddiness when I was little right before I would open the box to reveal all of my valuables. I approached the jewelry box, almost nervous, and opened it. I did not know what I was expecting when I opened the box, but I was suddenly cheerless and disappointed. I saw the mirror on the inside of the box. It had smudges and finger prints of its previous owner and the rest of it was empty. It was sterile. It was desolate. There was no magic or playfulness it once had. It was like the jewelry box of my childhood was emptied of its treasures and placed irrelevantly on the messy and dusty shelf. I cleared a space for it, pushing aside the tacky plastic noise making toys, and rightfully making the jewelry box a place of its own. I wanted it to convey its spirit and magic to the next potential owner. I wanted the jewelry box to know it was loved. The jewelry box looked cared for and significant now that it had it was dusted off and had its own space. At the very least, I was satisfied with the cleaning and open space around the jewelry box and took a last look at a fond memory of my child hood and continued my adventure through the gently used toys and appliances.
I looked around at the random collection of items through the store. I wondered if they once had value like my pink and turquoise jewelry box had. I wondered if the other toys on the metal shelves felt deserted and unloved. I felt obligated to find an importance or value to each item, hopefully making it feel loved and wanted again. As I processed this thought a little girl wandered through the toy section. She shuffled through the toys, examining those of interest and pushing aside the others. Eventually, she selected a doll. She picked it up and held it at eye level, only inches from her face. The little girl traced the eyebrow and nose of the doll’s face and smoothed the dress it was wearing. “Cathleen!” Her father was calling her. She darted out of the aisle and proudly showed the doll to her father. She explained all the reasons as to why she should have the doll in a hurried and rapid Spanish speaking gasp. The father looked intently at the doll and nodded his head in approval as he handed the doll to his daughter. He continued to walk through the store and whistled while he kept an eye on his little girl skipping through the store.
I kept browsing through the used goods. A collection of shiny ceramic cows, dull plastic watering cans, a respected grandfather clock, and a framed Norman Rockwell print inhabited the walls and shelves. The dusty electronic section was composed of tangled phone cords, abused vacuums, forgotten toasters, naked lamps, and prehistoric computers. I weaved through the shelves and racks to the back of the store and found the furniture section. The lazy recliners, matching ‘His and Her’ chairs, and the stoic Captain’s chairs were all lined up like first graders waiting in the lunch line. I found a funny looking chair and sat. It was a rusty velvety orange sofa and smelled of dust and smoke. The velvet was worn and no longer soft on the arms of the chair. Parts of the fabric underneath showed around the corners. The cushion was so worn it surprised me as I continued to sit farther into the seat. Once I was comfortable I imagined the pervious owner of the chair sitting and relaxing, perhaps smoking a cigarette and watching television with the remote balanced on the arm of the chair. I looked at the chair next to me. It was a beige lazy boy recliner with dark stains on the arms and near the recliner lever on the side. It smelled like hard work and moths. The cyclical announcement startled my relaxed state: “Thank you Goodwill customers for shopping with us today. Friday and Saturday is the manager’s 99 cent sale on select items! The store hours are…”
I figured that was my cue to leave the furniture section and continue browsing. The clothing section reminded me of mazes on the back of cereal boxes. All the clothes were arranged in rows according to color and relative size. I could hear the sound of frantic browsing. It was the hangers scraping the metal racks. In order to get the item off the rack the rest of the clothes had to be shoved using the momentum of the entire upper half of the body and pushed aside. While the musty sweaters, elastic waist mommy jeans, and floppy t-shirts were on the congested racks, the fancy evening dresses were proudly hung on the walls of the store as if to declare they were better than everything else.
A man passed me while I was walking from the apparel section to the household goods. He walked with a slight gimp from hard work and had comb streaked hair. The expression on his face was serious and his eyes darted nervously from shelf to shelf. He was carrying two items, one in each hand. He had a framed piece of pale landscape art and an engraved wooden plaque. This man walked stiffly through the shelves and stopped. He slowly bent over to rest the art and wooden plaque against the shelf and wiped his hands along the sides of his pants. His eyes relaxed and he reached for map quietly resting on the shelf. He held the map in his hands for a few seconds and suddenly relaxed. He slowly and diligently unfolded the map and skimmed its contents. His face conjured a half smile as if he was reminiscing about a favorite pastime of his boyhood. With careful precision, the man folded the map to its original form, traced the corners with his finger, and made a space for it on the shelf. He aligned the map on the shelf so it no longer looked forgotten, but instead looked noble and dignified. The man stiffened again and reached for his items. As he shuffled away I could not help but wonder if he found his version of a pink and turquoise jewelry box. When he was out of sight, I went over to the area of the shelf where he found the map. There it was. The no longer forsaken item now purposefully took up space like it was loved again.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)